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Sometimes.

Friday, August 12, 2011 | 12:00 PM | 0 candie blossom

Sometimes, there are people who you wish wouldn't care for you.
Would forget about you.
Would move on.

But even if that one person forgets about you, there will always be someone else.

And sometimes, I don't understand, because I love all of these people. I love these people when I barely know them, and I love them because I see how human they are.

Sometimes, I think I'm crazy because I sometimes feel like I'm not human. I feel broken and separate from the people I know and love. I can't find the pattern in me that matches the pattern of humans.

And sometimes, I love these people so much, they don't even know how much I love them. And they feel like I wouldn't do the world to help them. And there's this part of me that wishes I didn't love them so much, because I know they're human, and they would never do the same for me.

Apparently, everyone has noticed this about me before I even noticed it.

I care about others and will help them before I help myself.

And maybe that's just sometimes, because I feel that I'm selfish. All the time, I see the world just for myself.

Put yourself first. Just youself.

Sometimes, I lose track of that, because I don't want anything. I don't want anything, but for the people I love to be safe. I want them to be as happy as possible, as free as possible, and as honest as possible. That's all I want sometimes.

Sometimes it's hard. For me.
To let you go.
But it'll be okay in time, and I have to remember that crying doesn't change anything.

Change is what needs to happen. It's not something I want, it's something necessary.
And although I would like to just do whatever I want, I can't sometimes.
Like how I want to always be honest, but I can't.

That's just how it goes.

xoxo

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