  A Lil' Bite. TALK TO ME.Opinion?  Overview.
I must remind myself to smile and stay positive. Always.❣ ♥
monster(s) now.
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IF
Friday, August 12, 2011 | 12:12 PM | 0 candie blossom
I'm always thinking about this. It's the same thought that flies through my mind all the time. The only thought I can't get enough of. No matter how much I ignore it. No matter how much I try to alter it. Change it. Fix it. Kill it. It never changes. If I was hot or smart... If I was a princess locked in a castle or a peasant working like a slave... If I could have anything I wanted or nothing at all... "Which would be better? To love and lose or to never have loved at all?" I've thought about it before. Passingly, if I could be a boy, would I? If I were born as a man, would my life be better? Passingly. If I could be rich, would I? If I were born into money, would I be any happier? Passingly, if I could be beautiful and smart, would I? If I were born beautiful and smart, would I feel like this? It takes a long time for me to realize that it's okay to be me. It's okay. "Is this who you are, not who you want to be?" Maybe I took that chance away from him.
Maybe he never actually noticed. Maybe he didn't actually care. There's this whole other life I could have lived. Yet, I will never know anything about it. This confounds me. I've tried so hard to leave my past behind me, but every time, I realized the new people I meet will want to know about my past. Then it follows me. Haunts me until I realize I'm nothing more but my past. If that girl on the other side of this mirror were me... If I were her reflection, would I be happier? |
