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World - Realistic & Unfairness.

Thursday, June 20, 2013 | 7:39 PM | 0 candie blossom

The world is full of unfairness love, money, harmony, in return.

So.. I'm doing that thing again. Isolating myself from the world and the people around me. I'm afraid of getting too attached. I don't want to be too dependent on the things I currently have by my side. Depending on the elder's one. The outcome isn't always good. Forgive me for pushing my fears away. .

It happened just by flipping eyes. [Evening time], had argument and convinces with my mom and brother just because wanted him to be here so badly and celebrate with me. Why do they have to think such ridiculous thing might happen on me if he's here? I'm soon to be the 18 age which means I'm no longer underage little girl. I'm not on my prematurity level anymore! :( Why they just can't trust on the guy I'm with? I don't blame anyone right beside involve on this matter. One thing proves that, the world is full of independent people and realistic. We're meant to work hard to get what we really want in life, when you go into the REAL society, there's just too much options for choices. I just hate the fact that I don't have the strength enough yet to get him here with me.

I'm sorry, you must have suffered a lot, lot there...
You might think this is a shameful thing for yourself. Then you're completely wrong.
BUT, if you give us a chance, everything will be like a cycle, return to where it supposed to stay, and make changes.
Have faith. =)

While you're thinking about all of the people who hates you, all of the bad things you've done, and your imperfections— remember that there's also people who loves you, you have made mistakes that is worth learning from, and accepting your imperfections makes you beautiful.

In a mess.

Thursday, April 11, 2013 | 12:43 PM | 0 candie blossom

What do I do to have you here, what do I do to have us perfectly together always, what do I do to let all the bad things around us go away and never come back. What do I do, to let you see all the things I can't be tell in words... I can't eat well, sleep well, and do my works well...... I wish I would just not see all these things coming to us and destroy us.. Why life like this..

Hurt, leads to a result like this.

Friday, November 23, 2012 | 10:11 PM | 0 candie blossom

Honestly, I don't see myself falling in love anymore.

I mean I dream about it and I want it to happen one day again and yes it did because of YOU. Because of you, I see myself loving a guy like you, I could just put off everything around me just to have you always by my side. but now I can't see myself in love. I can't see myself happy merely over someone's existence. Especially seeing the way I keep on pushing everyone out of my life. I can't see someone dealing with me. I can't see it. I don't even think it'll happen again because of him.I'm really tired of having them. Always laying in bed for about 2-3 hours and trying to sleep. I end up getting into deep thoughts and flashbacks of my bad and good memories. I don't want to cry myself to sleep most of the nights. I just want one night where I can sleep peacefully and not have to think... Can I just be happy and have someone that actually can be part of me too? Stand here at my shoes think for me, hug me, and love me for who i am. My immaturity, my stubbornness. Sometimes, my rudeness too. I thought love is to be possess everything into it. But i was wrong, so wrong.

Hearing from you said that you're going back to her, your first love. Never knew a day like this would ever arrives and happens on me. Maybe this is what they called Karma? But I honestly don't see it is,... Always and always wonder what's the 'big' problem I've ever done to you. Until you don't give a damn about me anymore, or even take a glance on me. I understand that I've said words that kills you too in the evening but it's all because I was asking for an attention that if you are actually still care about me.... But seeing the words repeatedly kills me deeply, I knew it, I already knew that it's long gone. The love and moments when we said not to be apart, it's long gone. There's nothing else I could do. I've my heart with me here too, can't you just give me a minute to breathe while you're trying to break my into pieces? They told me, to do everything you must follow your heart but when my heart breaks into pieces, I don't know which pieces should I follow. Wish nothing but the best for you and her. If one day I see you out there with her, either you guys got married or a family, I'll still be proud of you for what youre doings. I'll never blame you. I loved you, love.

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish it would last as long as you live?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish it would never end?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish you wouldn't feel at all hurt (well, lil' hurt is acceptable)?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish you could hold on to and never let go?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish the endless tears you dropped were all worth?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish your awaitance would be appreciated?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish you would go a day without missing that person?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish that person could be there for you, as you were there for them?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish you wouldn't have cried for all the pain he has given you?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish that all those sad love songs wouldn't remind you of that certain someone?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish you could leave that person without feeling the least bit regret?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish you could let go without hesitation?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish that no matter what they do, wouldn't affect you at all?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish that not everything you see, would remind you of them?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish that every little thing you did, they would have noticed?

Have you ever had the kind of love, you wish you would have left that certain someone, if you knew how important they will be to you in the future?

Have you ever felt all the constant missing, all the continuous pain for every morning you wake up to?

Have you ever? Huh?

NERVE IS CRACKING

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 | 8:00 PM | 0 candie blossom

ADMIT: I'm actually being low esteem and afraid for my upcoming Diploma business exam.

Haven't been start any revision from now and there's left 11 DAYS. Hah what am I doing here? Brrrrr. Must stay strong than ever! Aim: Get a flying colors result? But I know action speaks louder ha-ha-ha

Fakeness?

Tuesday, September 11, 2012 | 3:08 PM | 0 candie blossom

: Am I a fake?

I always tell people that I’m happy, when inside, I’m nothing closed to being happy. I always carry on a fake smile, wondering if I’ll ever be able to show a real smile. I'm like a million pieces of puzzles that you can never put together. Don't let looks deceive you. Even though I'm aways happy and cheerful, I'm dying inside. No one understands me. It hurts carrying on this fake mask I've been carrying on for years. I hope a day would come when I won't need that mask anymore.

I hope.

xoxo

BACK

| 3:03 PM | 0 candie blossom

Greetings there,

I'll back to blog sooner!!

Because I've that motivation to be back here ever since I've got the suitable time to do so.

Forgive me that I was on hiatus moment ever since you can see there my last post was on Mid-March...... Until now. Hehehe

*bowsdown.

STAY TUNE :D

LCB 1ST TERM SEMI-BREAK

Saturday, March 17, 2012 | 12:10 PM | 0 candie blossom

Hi there,

so basically it's my college first term of semi-break!

Which is last long for 12 days only, and now left 9 more days to go!

lol.

What's happening recently is I don't know what to do or plan to do excepting I'm procrastinating for my Economics homework and I'm deliberately pretending to not knowing I've any homeworks ! LMAO. D=

Reason for why I've the motivation to update on my blog because OBVIOUSLY I don't know what to do as I mentioned few minutes ago above there hahahaha. Forgive me for my lack of updates here. *Bows down* Therefore, I'll just upload some of my vain pictures. ^_________^

Picture taken : 14 - 03 - 2012.

Reason why I did because it's Happy White Valentine's Day! :-)

Ignore my so-called rabbit teeth. && notice my tiny dimple? T__T

Tehee.

Just somehow tried to showing off my lil' tiny braid. LOL

Chu chu~

That is all. Bye, my silent reader. x

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